Rules of the Game at Flopped the Nuts

Michael Heilemann.
If you have Dunstan's Time Since installed, this plugin uses it for the title="" attributes on the comments and posts. (For WordPress 1.5) Author: Brian Meidell Author URI: http://meidell.dk/blog Version 1.5: Now works without LOCK TABLE and CREATE TEMPORARY TABLE priviledges. Version 1.5.1: Can't remember what I did here Version 1.5.2: Fixed count select statement to not include spammy comments Version 1.5.3: Properly excludes track- and pingbacks Version 1.5.4: Excludes posts that are not published, even if they have comments Version 1.5.5: Fade old comments, fixed bug that wreaked havoc with Time Since Version 1.5.6: Bugfix from Jonas Rabbe (http://www.jonas.rabbe.com/) pertaining to timesince Version 1.5.7: Bugfix so old colors can be darker than new colors (stupid oversight), thanks to http://spiri.dk for spotting it. Bugfix where single digit hex would cause invalid colors, thanks to http://www.wereldkeuken.be/ for the fix. Version 1.5.8: Bugfix from Matthias Schutz regarding time_since. Version 1.5.9: Added function redefiniotion protection if people use the plugin in several places */ function blc_latest_comments($num_posts = 5, $num_comments = 6, $hide_pingbacks_and_trackbacks = true, $prefix = "

", $postfix = "

", $fade_old = true, $range_in_days = 10, $new_col = "#444444", $old_col = "#cccccc") { global $wpdb, $tablecomments, $tableposts; if(!function_exists('blc_clamp')) { function blc_clamp($min, $max, $val) { return max($min,min($max,$val)); } } function get_channel($col, $offset) { return hexdec(substr($col, $offset, 2)); } function channels($col) { $r = get_channel($col, 1); $g = get_channel($col, 3); $b = get_channel($col, 5); return array($r, $g, $b); } $max_time = $range_in_days * 24 * 60 * 60 ; function scale_channel($old, $new, $diff, $max_time) { $range = $old - $new; $c = round($diff/$max_time*($range))+$new; $c = blc_clamp(min($new, $old), max($new, $old), $c); $c_hex = str_pad(dechex($c), 2, '0', STR_PAD_LEFT); return $c_hex; } $usetimesince = function_exists('time_since'); // Work nicely with Dunstan's Time Since plugin (adapted by Michael Heilemann) // This is compensating for the lack of subqueries in mysql 3.x // The approach used in previous versions needed the user to // have database lock and create tmp table priviledges. // This uses more queries and manual DISTINCT code, but it works with just select privs. if(!$hide_pingbacks_and_trackbacks) $ping = ""; else $ping = "AND comment_type<>'pingback' AND comment_type<>'trackback'"; $posts = $wpdb->get_results("SELECT comment_post_ID, post_title FROM ($tablecomments LEFT JOIN $tableposts ON (comment_post_ID = ID)) WHERE comment_approved = '1' AND $tableposts.post_status='publish' $ping ORDER BY comment_date DESC;"); $seen = array(); $num = 0; if($fade_old) { list($r_new, $g_new, $b_new) = channels($new_col); list($r_old, $g_old, $b_old) = channels($old_col); } foreach($posts as $post) { // The following 5 lines is a manual DISTINCT and LIMIT, // since mysql 3.x doesn't allow you to control which way a DISTINCT // select merges multiple entries. if(array_key_exists($post->comment_post_ID, $seen)) continue; $seen[$post->comment_post_ID] = true; if($num++ > $num_posts) break; $commenters = $wpdb->get_results("SELECT *, UNIX_TIMESTAMP(comment_date) AS unixdate FROM $tablecomments WHERE comment_approved = '1' AND comment_post_ID = '".$post->comment_post_ID."' $ping ORDER BY comment_date DESC LIMIT $num_comments;"); $count = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT COUNT(comment_ID) AS c FROM $tablecomments WHERE comment_post_ID = $post->comment_post_ID AND comment_approved = '1' ".$ping); $i = 0; $link = get_permalink($post->comment_post_ID); if($usetimesince) $title = " title=\"Last comment was ".time_since($commenters[0]->unixdate)." ago\""; else $title = ""; echo $prefix."".stripslashes($post->post_title). " ".$count."
\n"; foreach($commenters as $commenter) { if($usetimesince) $title = " title=\"Posted ".time_since($commenter->unixdate)." ago\""; if($fade_old) { $diff = time() - $commenter->unixdate; $r_hex = scale_channel($r_old, $r_new, $diff, $max_time); $g_hex = scale_channel($g_old, $g_new, $diff, $max_time); $b_hex = scale_channel($b_old, $b_new, $diff, $max_time); $colstr = " style=\"color: #".$r_hex.$g_hex.$b_hex.";\""; } if($i++ > 0) echo ", "; echo "comment_ID."\"$title>".stripslashes($commenter->comment_author).""; } if($count > $num_comments) echo " [...]"; echo "".$postfix."\n"; } } ?> Rules of the Game at Flopped the Nuts

Rules of the Game

Published by Textbook 2 years, 3 months ago in Home Games

Rule One: No work talk: Aside from making fun of people. Slander is encouraged, but limits must be imposed and respected.
Rule Two: No working at the table: If you have something pending that will require the opening of a laptop during play, you might just want to skip the game that time.
Rule Three: Three Pair is the best hand possible: But it won’t always win you the pot.
Rule Four: Love the Host Dog: The Host Dog will bring you luck.
Rule Five: Don’t touch the white chips: Particularly if they belong to someone else.
Rule Six: Pot is good: Or so we’ve heard…
Rule Seven: No food requests.: Take what is offered and shut your trap.
Rule Eight: If it’s your first night, you must drink Mickeys: Preferrably a 40oz in a brown paper bag. (You should also finish the night no better than even.)
Rule Nine: A pair of nines fucks all: “You gonna fuck me with those NINES?!”
Rule Ten: Outsiders cannot ask into the game. The game asks them.: Asking more than once to be included will result in a lifetime ban.
Rule Eleven: No bitches: Host Wives are not bitches.
Rule Twelve: The Host can always change the rules: This may include exceptions, restrictions, or any other sort of modifications. Why? Because it’s his damned house!

(Props to DJ for his input.)

One Response to “Rules of the Game”

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1 Broz Mar 28th, 2006 at 1:15 pm

Well put, friends.

I don’t how the game asked me, but I’m glad it did.

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